Ayah.. 2 year passing by..

Salam

Today as reminded by my mobile calendar is the day in  2 years ago.. the most sadness day in my life..

Last nite.. around almost 12am.. all those memories flying in and flooding my mind one by one.. each and every one.. from start to the end of what happen that night.. Ayah die after the doctor tried to recover him from a heart attacked.. but Allah love him more... The last person who talk to him before he finally close his eyes was me and that memories will be one of those many memories that will always be at the backed of my mind.. Those smiles.. that conversation.. that nodding gesture.. that hand signal.. that terrible breathing.. that continues cough..  that last sentences... always clear and really hard to forget..

Missing somebody when they died is horrible and loneliness... even though we accepted the fact that it's what Allah s.w.t have decide to each and everyone of us.. but still it's really painful and the emptiness stick and permanently imprint in your heart and soul..

It's been a while that I didn't dream about you... I know that you always there watching... and sometimes whenever I did something bad.. I feel you're around.. watching and ready to advise and talk like you always do... I guess that I'm so lucky to have you around when I got my first degree.. my engagement day... my wedding day.. and I know that I'm so lucky to have you around to see half of my life.. and thinking about this.. I know that adik and Lan (my brother and sister) would never have the chance to have you around on their wedding day or even see what would they achieved in life because they just started to live their life.. . It might be a bit unfair to them because I have the chance to see your face and your smile all day.. and how happy your are..But Allah knows everything.. and things happen as it is..

Ayah.. We all missed you.. always be.. and always have..

Semoga ayah tenang di sana.. semoga tempat ayahanda sentiasa terang dan lapang dengan doa-doa kami.. Maafkan anakanda adakala terlupa memgingati ayahanda dalam doa anakanda.. adakala anakanda terlupa bacakan yassin buat ayahanda dan mungkin ayahanda tertunggu-tunggu bekalan dari kami buat ayahanda.. Maafkan anakanda ayah... walaupun ayah tiada.. doa anak-anaklah bekalan untuk ayahanda kan..

p/s Al-fatihah... please do read these surah for my dad... and thanks for sending him those prayer yeah..