Love does not hurt..

Assalamualaikum and good monday afternoon

I come across this quote from Keanu Reeves.. I find it true.. and I realised that I had to agree on this with him..

Yesterday I had a conversation regarding about love.. its was a long and sad conversation.. its been a while that I keep on bringing up those matter.. it been couple of times I was so emotional when those issues was brought up.. by me of course...

When you love someone.. you tend to be emotional..and sometimes you're out of your imagination to wanting something where in reality we knew that wont be happening now.. but yeah.. in future we never knows.. Allah will decide if that is the path that we would follow thru..

When we have some limitation regarding about time and space.. we started to question ourselves.. what's going on.. why should we feel this way.. how long would we hold on.. how much more afford that we had to do just to understand... what are the purpose of starting it in the first place.. and more and more questions keep on filing up the stack.. and less and less answers we got to all of those question... it end up with a clueless situation.. silent.. and just .................................................................

However later on we did agree on 1 thing... that whatever were said... whatever were the questions.. how many questions in the list and all the unanswered questions... Love will always be there for us.. in our heart.. in our soul.. in our mind.. it always.. and always be as it is.. for how long.. for how much... as far as the heart could still feel it happiness... as far as it make you feel good and smiling... as far as it will always make you feel wonderful.. there will always be a special place in your heart that you would place that love.. for you to revisit or to think about when you feel blue.. or when you miss him/her later... eventhou you might have lost the person for good... or both of you have to take your own turn and go separate ways..

I have thought about ending it sometimes.. yeah.. I did have that kind of thought once a while... just to check my own intention... just to question myself how far could I go with my life... but it always ended up that I'm not that brave enough to do that.. eventhou that kind of thought was sort of an option to get out... I know making this kind of decision is not easy.. I have few friends that have to face death and separation in life.. its hard.. its difficult.. its heart breaking.. its sad... its depressing.. its challenging... A friend did question me.. Would I want to end that? I find it hard to say 'yes' because I don't really give it a serious thought... its easy to give a suggestion.. but doing and making it final not as it sound... Love may has prevent me doing it... because Love is what keep me going.. love keep me feel alive.. and love keep me feel wanted..

I too have face so many failure in love.. mostly had sad ending... its still sad to recall each one of it.. but I learn from that experiences... I used to blame myself on what happen... but I do understand love and relationship take two to make it works... it wont works just 1 way... if you're not destine together just move on... but of course the feel of sadness... the blame should be put on someone.. I used to feel that I was the one who did something wrong... but later a friend mention... 'No... both are you not meant together that is... deal with it' but ahhhh.. you know woman... we tend to be so emotional and started to track piece by piece and all the moments that we had gone thru just to find the glitch.. or some signs that you had been missing somewhere..

Of course I still have questions for some of the breakup... why me? what did I do? Do I deserve this? You don't love me anymore? worst question.. Am I that bad? so that you decide to leave me? Did I change and you feel we're not suppose to be together? All those unanswered question..... but later on... when I give a thought to figure out some on the answers by my own... I'm speechless... clueless.. whatever were the answers would it be.. it wont change the fact that its already over... Nothing could be done eventhou all those questions was answered.. so what next? Just MOVE ON....

Love does not hurt... Yes I agree.. but the person in love would feel hurt once a while... Why? Because we love too much.. that what really hurt...

Ku baca semula buku ini setelah sekian lama...

Assalamualaikum

Entah kenapa tetiba apabila aku bersembang dengan seorang rakan.. aku teringatkan buku ini... maka usai sahaja berbuka puasa dengan sahabat itu.. aku cari semula buku ini yang tersusun kemas di rak buku di rumah..

Malam itu aku luangkan sedikit masa untuk membaca semula setiap entri dalam buku ini... komen aku tentang Blook ini pernah aku tulis di entri ini pada 6 May 2013... woooohhhh dah 3tahun berlalu kan..

PRU13 & Blook 'Kuehbakar.. ia bukan tentang kueh'

Kueh pun dah jarang update blog dia... rindu juga membaca entri dia yang selalunya bersahaja tetapi kelakar kadangkala... rasanya kebanyakan rakan yang dulu rajin menulis dan kemaskini blog.. sekarang dah semakin menjauh... atau mungkin menulis di tempat lain.. atau mungkin sahaja seperti aku yang kadang sibuk dan terlupa kehadiran blog yang satu itu..

Dalam membaca entri.. terjumpa kata-kata ini dalam buku kueh bakar.. entri 'Chenta.. Wednesday, January 21, 2009'

Macamana nama gelemer aku ada dalam buku nie eh... hahaha

 Recall... dulu nick aku Tukang Cuci Cute.. sebab kisah tukang cuci antara sebab aku buat blog ini pada asalnya..

Aku masih enjoy baca buku ini... banyak kisah yang mencuit hati.. tidak ketinggalan juga kisah sedih yang pernah dicoretkan..

Andaian aku kini selepas 3 tahun pasti sudah banyak kisah demi kisah yang berlaku dalam hidup masing-masing.. aku pun begitu juga.. banyak benda terjadi.. ada yang berulang seperti rutin kebiasaaan.. ada yang berubah.. ada yang baru.. ada yang ditinggalkan..

Tahun ini sahaja 2 orang sahabat baik aku kini dah menjadi penulis buku.. dan sudahpun menerbitkan buku pertama mereka.. Aku?? entah belum ada rasa nak buat buku walaupun sebenarnya banyak sahaja bahan yang boleh ditulis.. menulis buka yang santai?? ada ke yang nak baca?? hahaha... kalau sahabat aku sorag tuh baca ayat aku nie.. sure aku kena tarbiah... hahaha

Apa istimewanya buku kueh bakar ini?? mesti ada yang tertanya sebab edisi buku nie pun bukan boleh beli kat kedai buku.. tapi istimewa kena dapatkan dari tuannya sendiri.. istimewanya sebab ini adalah kisah hidup dan kadangkala juga sebuah pandangan... setiap kita ada pandangan kita masing-masingkan... aku pun begitu juga...

Pernah dulu masa aku aktif menulis di blog ini.. pernah singgah seseorang yang 'anonymous' yang mungkin pada awalnya tertarik dengan gaya penulisan aku... dan dia pula mula komen di blog.. dan bila sahaja aku tidak setuju dengan pandangannya aku dilabel pula sebagai tidak matang dan emotional... hang on... masa tuh aku bit 'hot temper'.. bukan sebab aku tidak boleh menerima pandangan orang... tapi aku juga tidak semestinya kena terima semua pandangan orang dengan mengangguk sahaja... come on.. this is my blog... I wrote what I like... I tak paksa pun u agree on me.. but if you dont agree.. that fine... but dont force me to accept your point camtu je...

Bagi mereka yang selalu menulis blog.. pasti sahaja maklum banyak juga benda yang kadangkala tentang hidup.. seseorang atau peristiwa yang kita kongsikan bersama... aku tidak ketinggalan juga.. aku mula menulis blog dari tahun 2007... jika blog lama.. banyak juga kisah yang aku kongsikan tentang pengalaman silam dalam hidup.. later bila blog itu gelemer kat UK dulu.. aku mula slowdown menulis sebab bila sahaja aku update.. bila jumpa rakan-rakan... ada sahaja yang mereka komen dan sembangkan... then this blog come up as an alternative... why?? I can become semi-invisible sebab ada yang kenal aku gak walaupun pakai nama samaran.. but still.. I'm happy to be as it is now... sebab itu memang takdelah gambar muka aku dalam blog nie.. sila lah cari memang takde... yg ada just pandangan blkg je hahaha...

Apa pun.. aku masih suka menulis di sini terutama bila ada rasa nak luahkan sesuatu.. atau rasa nak kongsikan sesuatu.. setiap kita ada emosi masing-masing.. aku pun begitu juga...

p/s Dik Kueh.. ko pernah komen dalam entri 6 may 2013 tuh ko nak buat blook kedua tahun 2015... nie dah 2016 nie dik.. mana? mana? mana? Hang p mana dik?

1 Ramadhan 2016.. Ahlan Wa Sahlan

Assalamualaikum dan Salam Petang Isnin

Alhamdullilah tahun 2016 ini sekali lagi kita berpeluang berpuasa bersama lagi kan.. Begitu sekejap sahaja masa berlalu.. nanti tup tup.. dah nak raya (hahaha baru sehari puasa dan fikir raya eh...)

Ramadhan kali ini sama sahaja seperti yang sebelum.. cuma minggu ini boleh tarik nafas sikit.. sebab baru nak masuk gear bergerak.. minggu depan kembali rushing sebab minggu exam.. pastu kelas pun dah start.. tapi minggu depan nak full blast kelas semua... kena handle 2 program lak tuh...

Rutin berpuasa.. buka dan sahur sama sahaja aku rasa.. setiap tahun camtu juga.. cuma kemeriahan berpuasa di rantau orang dulu... masih terkesan dalam ingatan.. kini berbuka kadang lebih banyak sendirian dan kadang terikat dengan komitmen kerja macam biasa... meaning balik kerja pun masih macam biasa.. kalau ada pun awal sikit je kot dari biasa.. selebihnya rasanya tak banyak yang berubah kecuali mungkin kadar keletihan itu sedikit bertambah kerana perlu masak untuk buka dan juga sahur... kena cari resepi ler lepas nie..

Aku lebih banyak terasa dan teringat kenangan lama dengan kawan-kawan bila berpuasa ni.. yelah dulu pun selama 5 tahun duduk dirantau orang.. dan kawan-kawanlah keluarga semasa berbuka.. kemeriahannya tak dapat dibandingkan dengan kenangan lain pun... tapi yelah itu semua kenangan lama kan.. mungkin dapat dirasai lagi andai aku kembali ke sana atau ke negara lain.. (hasrat nak 'migrate' ada tapi belum masanya lagi kot)

Berpuasa mengajar kita erti sabar dan menahan diri.. kawal nafsu.. kawal emosi.. kawal fikiran.. banyakkan amalan.. tambahkan pahala.. itu sebaiknya..

Selamat berpuasa buat semua sahabat.. Salam Ramadhan Al-Mubarak